HamlandFamily.org

Just like yesterday, I regularly take phone calls while pacing on gravel frontage roads in Wisconsin and Minnesota.

The caller asked, “Should I call back at a better time?” “No!” I said, “This is a good time. I am close to an exit and I will have the kids play in the car while I get out so we can talk.” “Wow, it’s not every day their mom takes a call like that,” she responded. “Oh you would be surprised,” I said as I unbuckled.

I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to have the school guidance counselor’s undivided attention as there were no students in school and our child has real struggles that we need help with.

Personal care and relationships.

The team members that are on her IEP are not present or aware of the areas where she struggles the most, where struggles impact her quality of life the most. Her team was not aware at all of the struggles she has at home when she steps off the bus, during recess, or the level of her masking at school.

We were driving to Rochester to try on pants, underclothes, winter boots, and snow pants, if I could find any at Goodwill. We’ve been trying about three different brands/styles of pants per week for our eldest as last year’s pants are highwaters.

The kids know the routine, they go to the toy isle and play nicely while I hunt down a selection of the current items on our To Tackle list. If they need me, they walk together and find me, no yelling.

Cold calling and asking for help (aka advocating) when we need it and problem solving on no school days has been our routine since our children’s infancy. These are the hardest days, but also the days where we make break throughs happen.

We get the coffee, donuts, diet coke, happy meal, special toy, and we keep trying to solve problems bite by bite.

We connect with the right people who can help us when we are able to call them or catch them in their office, never through email.

Need help finding a phone number? I have a Master’s Degree in Library and Information Science and years of research experience. I am also good at just getting the ball rolling and asking if someone knows the right person.

Please pull over and take the phone calls, it is not a big deal to add a few minutes onto your estimated arrival time.

A few more gravel road stories for you warrior parents out there… you keep going.

• I’ve pulled over on rural gravel road driving home across the state from a specialist doctor for one child to discuss and provide information to our health insurance company to appeal denials of therapy services for a different child.
• I remember certain outbuildings on distant gravel roads from when we’d gone through 5 changes of clothing for a previously potty trained child who had regressed to pooping their pants because they were burned out from starting school and their anxiety was through the roof.
• After my child ran out of the building for two days, I kept my child home when I learned there would to be a substitute the next day so we could find our child a winter jacket they could tolerate wearing with mittens and a pair of boots.