We talk About Autism.

For you, for your child, for your family. For me, there was a distinct time before and after the phone call hearing Jeanne’s assessment results. “Jeanne has autism.”

Shock. But also not shock. Things, struggles, memories, many things just started to click and make sense as the day and days and week and month went on. The clicking picked up speed the more I read about Autism.

I went through the motions. In between making therapy plans and changing our work and family schedule to get Jeanne where she needed to be, where we needed to be, I just stopped.

I . Just . Stopped .

Nothing else mattered. Work and life frustrations fell away. Dissolved. I no longer cared about our family circle summer plans that were swirling around us. My worry and guilt of missing out vanished.

We turned everything off and turned inward. I cannot truly explain the intensity and passion and love that we pointed at each other in our family unit during that time, but that time was the hardest I’ve ever loved, cried, failed, and fought in my life, in their little lives. All for us, no distractions.

I am not the same person I was before I heard those words. “Jeanne has autism.”

And I tell you, I never have looked back. Our kids, those BEASTS, have pushed Granger and I to the edge, to teeter over the edge at times, but by God we have more love, grace, and crystal clear trust in each other.